“So what would happen if we did the hustle down the aisle?” I asked The Partner. He exhaled, shifted the pillow and continued to read his medical magazine.
About three seconds later, he said “Isn’t that the 15th incarnation of our commitment ceremony you have talked about? So far you have had us flying in on wires, using dry ice for a more dramatic effect and at one point I think you mentioned something about the movie Coming To America and having an African tribal dance.”
Sad thing is that The Partner is correct. I have toyed with all these variations and hundreds more for a commitment ceremony. While the idea of a ceremony to profess your love/devotion to your mate seems a tad hokey in some levels in many ways it does strike a chord with me. However, I have always promised myself that if I was going to do a commitment ceremony, it would be on my terms and not some stuffy and tired production. A ceremony of this type is about celebration and joy…..not pomp and circumstance. It’s gay marriage …..so in some ways, the lack of history bodes well for me. There are no traditions to follow. None. Nada. It’s a blank slate. And from the ceremonies I have been to in the past, it does run the gamut from drag queens to stilt walkers to motorcycles.
So I think I am going to throw caution to the wind and do something bold (but tasteful), fun (but classy) bawdy (but within reason)……all things that are aspects of me. However, with the stay on Prop 8 in California, all my ideas continue to be on hold. I refuse to go forward with one of the most joyous occasions of my life with this black cloud looming over my head.
So ironically, they don't sell gay wedding toppers with a little Black dude and a little Asian dude...I was shocked too.
I know that I could just have a commitment ceremony, but with the idea of marriage so close to fruition, why not just wait and go whole hog? I am a patient man. I can wait. Besides, the waiting gives my friends and relatives more time to save up funds for presents.
Yes, presents…beautiful and expensive baubles and trinkets. I am a man of material needs and desires. While marriage may be one of the most joyous occasions in life, it may be rivaled by the experience of opening up boxes upon boxes of Tiffany blue boxes filled with crystal and silver. It’s one of the few times in my life, I can feel no remorse in asking friends and family to spend crazy amounts of money on one item that I probably would not buy myself. Besides, over 12 years of marriages, baby showers, bridal showers, bachelor parties and now divorce party “sympathy” presents/gifts, I am now seeking my own 40 acres and a mule.
Note: Dear friends…you all are out of school, established in your careers and have benefited from my generosity over the years. It’s payback time. I expect big heavy boxes from each of you. None of this sharing or going in halfies on a gift people….I know where you live 🙂
But all joking aside, one day I want to do all the things that my hetero friends do…..get married, have kids, file a joint federal tax form, actual write a will that doesn’t have 15 appendages …. you know the simple things. But for the moment, I can wait. As I said, I am a very patient person. Besides, the wait gives me time to figure out how to work in a New Orleans brass band into the after-party……….